Canadian As Fuck

by Ripcordz

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released March 1, 1994



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Ripcordz Montreal, Québec

Formed in 1980 and been playing ever since. Proud Punks from Montreal. We've played more than 2,500 shows and put out 15 albums. But we're not living in the past. Our new stuff is our best stuff.

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Track Name: Real Bands
Real bands don't drink lite beer, ice beer, dry beer
They drink free beer
Track Name: 1993: The Year Punk Died
Sonic Youth's on screen
Egos big and mean
Is all of this what we were fighting for?
Arena Rock returns
Punk Rock bands get burned
It seems to me that we just lost the war
To the Demi-God called Thurston Moore

1991. Year of the lie.
1993. The Year Punk Died.
1992. The cash piles high.
1993. The Year Punk Died.

College stations suck the majors for big bucks
Seattle spawns a heavy metal cult
A boring west coast invasion results

Rollins thinks that he's a poet
Jello's vain and man he shows it
We had our chance but now we've blown it

Indies sell their souls, Punk Rock bands get old
California bores us all to death
The Punk revival sucks its final breath
Track Name: The All-Canadian
Everything's all right by the TV light
Got a six-pack of Molson and it's Saturday night
Got Lemieux in the pool, we all think he's cool
The Canadiens are flying and for once the CBC rules

And in the intermission it's the man with the mission
It's time for the All-Canadian

Need sauce on those fries, drop those gloves and fight
Don't let those wimpy Swedes get you uptight
The best sport in the land, basketball be damned
Americans will never understand

Hey Don, love you guy
In a manly, kindof aggressive, non-sexual sort of way of course

Gretzky's pretty cool, and Wayne's Canadian too
But no one could be as true as Don and Blue
Cutting through their lies, blinded by his ties
He's a superstar and still just one of the guys
Track Name: Generation X
Long hair, street wear
An attitude that says that I don't care
Plaid shirts, long skirts
I listen to that grunge stuff when I'm hanging at Gert's
Living with my parents -
They think this stuff is all rebellious and cute
Working at mom's office -
I comb my hair back when it's time to commute

I'm a member of Generation X
Classified by income, age and sex
I'm a member of Generation X

Three chords, skateboards
Raving at a disco or grooving to the Doors
Skinheads, young Reds
All grouped together by some yuppie Deadheads
In a land run by the old -
We find ourselves locked tightly in a tiny little box
A demographic trick -
That cheats us all if we can't break open their locks
Your Generation, The Me Generation
The Blank Generation, you just can't count the lies
Track Name: Chill Out
Hey Big Business Guy - working on a number crunch
Hey Mr. Suit and Tie - working on a business lunch
I see you working, money is your only saviour
You fear the cashier's ring
Greed overpowers your will, your hand's caught in the till

I wanna know
Why can't you just...
Chill Out

I watch you lose your youthful fire
I watch and wonder if I care
Sell yourself to the closest buyer
They hit you really hard, you bought the whole nine yards
Should have let the seller beware

Hey Big Business Guy - you used to be so cool
Hey Mr. Suit and Tie - a fashionable fool
I didn't lie to you when I told you you were full of garbage
I didn't lie to you, why should I care what kind of clothes you wear?
Track Name: Cookie Monster
Now everybody knows that I have got a sweet tooth
It comes from tasting living delicacies looking like you
Gonna fill up fast, dining on you

Never gonna block me from a chocolate chip
But when there's something new you know I'll give it a rip
Fresh young thing you'll never give me the slip

You're a real cute cookie, you're what I want
Every move you make is a crumby taunt
I'm a cookie monster, gonna eat you up tonight

Why don't you come with me my honey, I'm the gingerbread man
Tasting all the sweet things from across this grand land
Gonna start with you, just give me your hand

When I look at you I know that you're real well done
You're the type of cookie that makes this job real fun
Make me regret the things that I've done
Track Name: Hell Raised Her
I didn't understand you when you came walking through my door
I didn't understand why you kept holding out for more
An afternoon delight, insatiable appetite
I didn't understand you were something to abhor
A picture-perfect anti-hero
An absolute... Zero

They never hear you coming, never know you're there
You're nowhere to be found and then you're everywhere
Frowning like the night, an irresistible fright
I didn't understand that you could lay my feelings bare

Terror screams, answer softly
Waking dreams, hit you hotly
Your greatest foe lies right between your eyes
Track Name: 17
Hanging in the caf listening to really cool tunes
Looking for the Summer as May turns into June
No hag, you're a senior and you rule the school

Don't wait for the weekend, there's a party tonight
Don't need no big specialized engraved invite
Got a two-spot in your pocket and you're feeling alright

Never have to worry 'bout what's happening next week
Never have to fill out no god-damned time sheet

Coz when you're 17, you never say never
When you're 17, you're gonna live forever
When you're 17, it's a... cool world

Breaking all the rules, you got a really hot date
Your parents better sleep tight coz you're coming home late
Nervous and shaky coz you know that sex is never safe

Cruisin' round, you're sitting in the driver's seat
Sneaking into clubs with manufactured ID
Dressing down exactly the way you want to be

Never have to worry about watching that waistline
Never stop to think about cancerous sunshine

It's not all that easy, that much is true
But the fun's all there, it's up to you
You gotta grab it while you can coz life is gonna hit you pretty damn fast

When you're 17, the world is yours
It's right outside your front door
You gotta break it down and break on out
Grab those moments, make 'em last
Track Name: No Future
You know I've had enough of you and all the dirty things you do
I'm gonna set my own course, I'm gonna rule my own nature
You never cared for me a bit, you've always tried to make me fit
Into a world that you have made where I can have no future

Gonna rock and roll
Gonna rock your soul
I'm talking Johnny Drughead and the Running Dogs of Love

I'll never fit in with your friends in their bleached shirts and their black ties
You can keep your boring jobs and your fat wives and cheap girlfriends
I don't want anything from you or from your screwed up little world
I've got my own act on track without your dollars and nonsense
Track Name: Animal Farm
Darwin put us all at the head of his class
I don't think our performance will give us a pass
Sometimes it's hard to tell the swine from the pearls
Living high and fine in the dog eat dog world
Their pig eat pig world

Uncle John is gonna prove his manhood tonight
Got a brew and got a deer dead in his sights
Just went shopping, got all this fab gear
Don't believe in killing for just part of the year
Not to worry, Uncle J's a sporting guy
They should run or get their brains blown into the sky
He's a simple guy with something to prove
Just wants to show that he can hit things that move
All week he's just a suit and tie
Not too bright but he's one hellofa boozer
Out here here's a really big guy
It's a sort where he can never lose

Welcome to the Animal Farm
Can't you hear the screams of alarm?
Welcome to the Animal Farm

Auntie Meg is putting on her best face today
Case her face in chemicals from Miss Mary Kay
No-tear mascara makes her look her very best
Thanks to a few rabbits who died in the test
Got her mink wrap and a full-length fox coat
Trailing blood behind her, she's an ugly old goat
Preening in the mirror with a crocodile smile
An elegant old carnivore drowning in style
Drowning in style, smothered in perfume
Blinded to what's happening outside of her rooms
Never a thought, never a worry
'Bout all tat ugly stuff that you see on TV

Why - can't they stop and listen
Life - ain't so cheaply given
It's time to stop the killing
The waste is just so chilling

Farming the land, food for survival
Waiting for the new messiah's latent arrival
Raping the forests for chemical croplands
Nature's precious balance destroyed in their hands
Drowning in wealth, smothered by garbage
An ecosystem buried in all our own cartage
Free creatures spend their whole lives in cages
To satisfy the cravings of our nuclear age
Track Name: Montreal Jazz Fest
I don't give a fuck about the Montreal Jazz Fest
I don't give a fuck if it's a tourist treasure chest
But I do care about the homeless you thrown in jail to clean our shining streets

I don't give a fuck about the Winnipeg Symphony
What's that dead music supposed to mean to me?
But I do care about the money you throw to those upper-class assholes without any need

Another invoice to be signed
Pork barrel money for the mind
Another million for...
Another billion for...
Six million dollars for a line

I don't give a fuck about Julie Masse
I don't give a fuck if she's got a nice ass
So why does Factor keep giving her all this cash so she can flaunt it on TV?

I don't give a fuck about the cultural elite
They ain't the kind of people I'd like to meet
But they'll kiss your ass for a little cash
Don't talk to them about integrity

I don't give a damn about the Goddamned Doughboys
Why do they think we care about their weenie pop noise
They're the next big thing for the college crowd
Too cool for the likes of you and me

Culture vultures
Just a bunch of leeching motherfuckers
Track Name: Great Canadian Rock 'n Roll Tour
Cruisin' down the old 401
The Brockville curse blows a tire, surprising no one
Blowing up an amp in TO
It's off to the northern frontier -- that's Ontario, son

Breaking fast with Satan's Choice
We hit the road just to find it's disappearing
Sault Ste. Misery awaits
They party hard with Punk Rock bands appearing

Through the ice and snow we boldly go
Where foreign bands fear to tread
It's one for all, it's all for fun
On the Great Canadian Rock 'n Roll Tour

Winnipeg's really a gas
Especially if you're into all of that drinking and driving
The lone Regina club closed
So we drive a thousand kliks bent on surviving

Concert halls or basement dives
Just pick up those guitars and drive
Time zones passing in the night
Gawking like rube tourists at all of the sights

Playing bars from coast to coast
Danny's Vancouver Vampire gets his goat
Johnny never did get laid
But he drank the bars dry wherever we played

The Calgary music fest moved
We played a rodeo ground filled with 10,000
Heading back 3,000 miles
The Maritimes need a little bit of carousing